Studies show that coaching is a very effective way to help a youngster acquire better social skills. In a relaxed manner, you demonstrate the technique and then ask your child to practice and finally you offer feedback. You will probably want to choose a quiet part of the day and keep the coaching session short. And, since a child is likely to be sensitive about her vulnerable spots, avoid trying to coach her immediately after she has encountered some social problem. Begin by casually mentioning the situation in which the child has shown some difficulty and then discuss it briefly with her.
For example, perhaps you have observed that your youngster rarely gets a chance to choose an activity when playing with friends, because she is shy about speaking up. You might say you have noticed that the other girls always seem to be the ones who pick the games and tell her you have an idea of how she might get the others to play her favorite game. Tell her that you are going to be her for a moment and demonstrate what she might say in group.
Explain to her way the approach you are suggesting works. Then, have we switch roles with you and practice asking directly for what she wants. She may be shy first, so encourage her with smiles and enthusiasm. And be generous in praising her efforts. Once you think your child understands new skill, remind her of it now and then, just before she is going to play with others. Children often simply forget that they have learned something new.
When it comes to cultivating good behavior, an ounce of praise usually goes much further than an ocean of punishments. When your child behaves nicely to her playmates, make it a point of letting him know that you are pleased with her. When you must criticize her conduct, try to keep your remarks positive and constructive. Finally, teach your child to praise herself for her social successes when she achieves victory over something that is very difficult for her.