Even when your child’s behavior leaves a great deal to be desired, you can do nothing about it. Experts recommend taking a thoughtful, methodical approach that begins with a precise definition of the offensive behavior. If, for instance, your youngster is impolite, it is not enough to state that she is rude.
How is she rude? Does she fail to say please or thank you, or to greet guests properly? Does she jump up from the dinner table and run off without excusing herself? Once you have focused on the problem and defined it, you can begin taking steps to solve it.
But in the process you may discover that there are several problems that need working on, all of them linked. If this is the case, choose one problem to address first. The chances are that when you solve it the others will go away.
With the problem defined, you are in a position to analyze it .Look at the antecedents and consequences of the behavior. Does the problem assert itself at a particular time of day? Is it most prevalent after your child has been playing with her friends? What parts do you and the rest if the family plays? If the problem is rudeness, ask yourself whether you are as aware of your own manners as you are of hers?
Do you, in fact, say please and thank you when you ask her to do something for you? Have you been nagging your youngster to be polite? Does your scolding seem to perpetuate her rudeness rather than eliminate it?
Having observed your child’s behavior, the circumstances leading up to it and the way you and others react to it, you will understand better why she behaves the way she does and will now be ready for the last step-planning a program to bring about the change you want.
Do not be surprised, however, if you learn that your own behavior, as well as your child’s requires modification. You may need to set a better example to your child. Scold less and praise more is the key.