Dealing With A Defiant Child

Dealing With A Defiant ChildParenting is an art challenging and pleasurable and at the same time calls for the right skill and attitude on the part of parents. Dealing with children can be a bit tricky.

If the child is disobedient and defiant, it becomes all the more challenging a task. This article acquaints you with right directions in terms of attitude and practical solutions to the problem of disobedience in your child.

Bad Is The Problem Not The Child

First and foremost, do not hate the child, hate the problem. The required task is to dissociate the problem from the child.

Acquire An Accepting Attitude

Understand that if your child disobeys, disobeying is not unique to him. Psychologically, disobeying is a part of child’s development wherein he begins to form his own opinion and asserts his individuality that id different from others. So, do not consider yourself supremely unlucky to have got such a defiant child. Once you acknowledge the problem of your child being disobedient, your approach to counter it should be solution oriented.

Find Out The Cause

The attitude of the child is more often than not conditioned by the family he grows up in. This fact calls for a better check into your own familial behavior towards him. Sometimes when parents expect too much out of the child, the goal appears too distant to him to be practically attainable, which makes him escape it and consequently disobey.

It is always better to set practical short term goals for him in the beginning. Moreover, if you are disobedient to others, maybe your partner or in-laws, the keen observation of the child playing around notices and imbibes the same attitude. Also, sometimes there disobedience might result from peer pressure or child’s own personality.

Let Him Express

Talk to your child about myriad things and let him e frank about whatever he says. This way he will form the right bond of friendship with you. Since disobedience is a result of frustrated expression, if he will be open about his problems that make him defy you, you as a loving and patient parent easily find out solutions to the problem with his consent.

Acknowledge Change

Once the child opens up, acknowledge this change in him publically with élan. Let him know that you love him for this and admire this newly adopted change. When the child obeys, you can also encourage his behavior by rewarding him at times.

Never Hit

Avoid solving the problem with anger at all. It is understood that as a parent one need to show some anger to the child for his uncontrollable behavior and this at times is very essential. Your child must fear your displeasure. However, your anger must never be too long or violent. Also, you must be forgiving especially, once he accepts his fault.

Also, scolding should only be in a dignified and patient manner. Showing violence would convey the child a simple fact that although you ask him to control his violent behavior, you have no control over your own. For effective and only worthwhile teaching, remember to practice what you preach.

neha madan