A child is a source of laughter and joy in a house. The presence of a child in the home infuses the entire environment with vitality and liveliness. When couples have babies, their lives undergo a dramatic change and they are able to experience the fulfilment that comes with the birth of a baby. Some couples decide to adopt a child, either because they are unable to conceive a child of their own or else due to other reasons.
The reason may vary, but the joy associated with parenthood is unfathomable. The ability or inability of being biological parents to a child does not limit the wonderful experience of parenthood. Some couples are unable to plan kids of their own but yearn for the experience of being a parent. Similarly, there are many kids who, due to unfortunate circumstances, do not get love and care from their biological parents.
Many couples opt for adoption services and bring such kids to their families either to compensate for the lack of kids of their own or merely to extend their families. Bonding between a parent and a child grows gradually over time. Couples who opt for adoption usually suffer from apprehensions about bonding with a child.
If a couple adopts a grown up kid, especially a teenager, it is slightly difficult to bond with the child because grown up children are generally slow at accepting and adjusting into a new family. Nonetheless affection and love are such strong forces that can overcome any hindrance. With the passage of time and building of trust and affection, a bond is created between the loving parents and adopted children.
Things To Consider Before Adopting a Child
If you are planning to adopt a child, make sure that you have the consent and support of your spouse and even other family members, if required. Bringing a child into your family when the child is not desired by half of the family will create troubles for you and at the same time, will hurt the child’s feelings. An adopted child is entitled to similar treatment and love and care as deserved by a biological child.
And if in any case, you feel that you might not be able to give the child same importance as a biological child, you must reconsider your decision.
Another important thing which needs to be kept in mind before adopting a child is that adoption entails taking up a huge responsibility. The adoption process requires legal formalities. A thorough scanning of the financial soundness of the foster parents is conducted to ensure the ability of the foster parents to provide for the needs of the child.
Adoption agencies have children in varying age groups ranging from new-born to adolescents. These children are deprived the care and support of their biological parents due to a number of reasons, like death of parents, penury, illegitimate children, etc. Such children have already been through a tough time and crave for the love of parents. Thus caring for an adopted child is a huge responsibility and must be carried out with utmost sincerity and dedication.
The reasons for adoption can be different but what is important is that adoption is a noble act and should be fulfilled with dedication. While planning for adoption, it is wise to think about future consequences and assess your willingness and commitment towards the act. In case you have any apprehensions about your ability to parent an adopted child or else to provide for the emotional and financial needs of a child, you must think it before you make the call because your decision will affect the entire life of the child. Don’t make the decision to adopt the child if you fear that you might resent it later on.
How To Bond With The Child
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It is said that the parent-child bond is the strongest and the most beautiful bond. If you are able to connect and bond with the child from the beginning, chances of issues in future will reduce. Once you and your child are closely bonded, the fact that your child is adopted will cease to matter. The adopted child should be able to connect not only with the parents but with other family members as well. Once the child is adjusted into the family, your apprehensions will vanish.
If there are biological children and adopted children in the same family, you as a parent need to be very careful about the treatment towards your children. Your behaviour towards and treatment of kids should be same, irrespective of the fact that they are your biological or adopted kids. Your biological kids might find it difficult to accept the adopted kids. However you need to be patient and make your children reconcile and accept the fact that the adopted kids are now a part of their family. Estrangement and envy between the adopted and biological kids can create serious problems for you.
With biological kids, the bonding comes spontaneously. However in the case of adopted kids, efforts are required from the side of the parents and the child as well. Parents, at first, will need to train themselves to love the adopted kids. Similarly, other family members will have to show their desire to connect with the adopted child. Once the child is able to feel love and care, he will reciprocate the feelings and will bond with the family with the passage of time.
Family activities, picnics, vacations, etc. are great ways to initiate the bonding process between the family members and the adopted child. You, as a parent, should show your concern and interest in the child’s life. You need to show the child that he is special and very much wanted in the family. Talk to him every day, spend time with him, introduce him to other family members and let love grow between you and the child. Your sincere efforts and genuine love towards the child will help you in winning the child’s heart and build a long-lasting relationship.
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