parents need to keep a four letter words under lock and key in the presence of their children, it is disrespectful for children to swear in front of parents, employees to swear in front of a boss and so on and so forth.
All these values seem to have died pretty unnatural deaths. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say they haven’t died they’ve been buried so deep that anyone who digs them up is shouted down as being the wrong doer. That’s right, cursing is ‘cool’ and even a child who has been taught differently ends up succumbing to peer pressure.
Practice What You Preach:
The first rule of success is, to set the standard. Remember you are an example for your child. If you have been cursing in your child‘s presence you surely cannot except the child to internalize your verbal lesson while you continue to set a very different practical one by cursing away at top speed.One parent I knew said he stopped cursing the day he saw his 5 year daughter pretending to be him at the wheel of a car.
Part of the imitation lay in using the most abusive language exactly replicated from her father. Many parent has been stopped in their tracks when brought face to face with the consequences of their actions.
As they say ‘out of the mouths of babes’, children will sometimes learn to curse even before they can understand the meaning of the words they are using simply because of the company they keep and that ‘company’ could well be YOU, the parent. So, if you don’t want your children to curse, clean up your own house and don’t do it yourself. Example is better than percept any day.
Lay Down The Boundaries
There are cuss words and cuss words, and some are worse than others. Given the development of modern day language you are not going to be able to shut out every single bad word from your child’s vocabulary and it would be pretty foolish to try as it can only harm the situation not help it.
If you’re going to get upset because you’re child rolls his or her eyes and says “holy shit”, then you are already in it. If your child can disobey you once because you haven’t bifurcated and made the boundaries between the acceptable and the non-acceptable don’t blame the kid. You need to do a reality check, and define the realistic limits of what is acceptable and what is out of bounds.
In any case keep in mind, that forbidden fruit is always sweeter , perhaps the french have struck the right note when they say ‘ we don’t tell our children not to drink, we teach them how to drink’. That is a good lesson to remember. Tell your child what he or she can do so that what they can’t is out of bounds by implication not prescription, combat the brain washing. Your child spends at least 8 hours of their lives in an educational institution. whether school or college.
Those relationships that they form there, are important to them. It would be wise to remember that before, using any strategy to stop your child from being different from his or her foul mouthed friends, rather than criticize the company it would be better to emphasize your own family values, the fact that the cursing walks into the home and is painful to you. If you are to achieve anything in this area it has to be as a result of your child’s love for you and his regard for your hurt and pain at hearing him or her swear.
Be a Friend:
If your child is able to place you, in a different generation and mentally label you in the ‘Don’t Understand’ framework then all disobedience becomes that much easier to justify since all rules carry that exponentially greater tag of lack of understanding. Be a friend to your kid, and yes it is possible to do this without abdicating your position as parent.
It doesn’t take much to enjoy some nonsensical activities with your child, to eat junk food at a happening fast food joint because that is your child’s ambiance. Step into his or her world but do it with caution, you are the parent don’t be embarrassing for your child but equally don’t be embarrassed of having good clean hearted fun, by regressing into your childhood.
Sometimes, allow your child to be the parent and to look after you, or just feel older than your silliness. It’s all right, to be temporarily not in charge, and it certainly helps your child to see life ont he other side of the fence.
Screen Your Child’s Friends:
You as a parent ought to be aware of the company your child is keeping. Observe your child’s friends and this necessarily means that there must be occasions for observing the friends. Create those opportunities, offer every once in a while to drop and pick up a bunch of them completely within your means.
Keep and open house, where your child feels free to bring his or her friends. Provide as best as you can without stressing your resources whether material or manpower too much to provide what they need. Lay down the rules and encourage your child and his or her friends to feel free to use your kitchen. If you don’t have help, it’s okay to make everyone clean up after themselves.
Weed out the undesirable characters, and please don’t wait till your child is swearing like a sailor at age 18 to start vetting his or her friends. Chances are by then the bonds of friendship will already have formed and the status quo of independence in choosing relationships will mean that your child is not amenable to advice. So here’s wishing you good luck, keep these tips in mind and hope for the best.
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