Just about every woman dreams of completing their life with a beautiful family. You marry the perfect guy and live in the perfect house. Then one fine day you learn that you are about to start a family. With great excitement and anticipation you nurture yourself so that you will have the perfect baby.
Suddenly out of the blue, something goes wrong. You end up leaving the hospital without the little bundle of joy you were so eagerly awaiting for. So how do you deal with such a life shattering incident?
Whether it’s due to a miscarriage, abortion or still birth, losing a baby is heart wrenching. Coping with such a loss may seem to be impossible because you have been dreaming about this baby, feeling it moving inside you, and hearing its heartbeat. You probably set up the baby room and selected names as well. However, you can take some steps to prevent yourself from falling into a depression.
First ensure that you grieve for your baby. If you push back all the pain and agony you are feeling and act like nothing has happened, you are doing more harm to yourself. Experts advise that during such a loss you should actually see and hold your baby if possible and even name it.
This way it will remain real to you throughout your life. Remember that crying is a part of the mourning process, so weep as much as you need to.
Be prepared to face a difficult time of emptiness, intense sadness, sleeplessness, loss of appetite etc. You may even imagine things like hearing your baby crying. It helps if you have a good support group around you during this time, to comfort and pamper you.
Try and get pregnant as soon as possible. Although this is not a replacement, it can lessen the pain you are feeling when you know another life will join your family soon. Ensure that you speak with your doctor first before you try.
Most importantly, don’t let guilt take over you. It is useless to beat yourself up thinking that you should have been more careful, taken better care of yourself, eaten better, etc. Accept the fact that it was destiny and you had no control over it.
Last but not least, remember that fathers and other family members grieve too. They may have different ways of dealing with it and the intensity may be less, however, they were also excited about the new addition to the family.
Form a support group with family and close friends or you can even join a group with members who are going through the same thing you are.