Relationship Between Spouses After Childbirth

After nearly ten months of waiting with baited breath it’s finally time to bring the little bundle of joy home. You have read all the possible books and watched every available tape, but nothing prepares you for the real thing.

It is not until it is just the three of you that you realize how enormous the whole situation is and the amount of responsibility and adjustments you’ll have to make.

This is a testing period for any couple, leaving them feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and totally disconnected from each other. Couples should use these trying times to be there for each other as much as possible, understand each other and help each other out any which way possible.

Do not try and be super mom or super dad overnight, it’s a new experience and no one is expecting you to do everything right the first time itself. There is no harm asking for help, if it is from your parents, doctors, or friends they are all there for you.

Though recently many workplaces have started handing out paternity leave too, mother’s tend to spend more time with the baby. This may leave your partner feel left out and ignored.  Take turns with the baby, so that not only does the work get shared but also your partner gets time to bond with the baby.

When you feel upto it, take some time off and spend it with your husband. One of your mom’s could look after the baby while both of you have couple of hours to yourself. Even if most of your topics will revolve around the baby, you all will get to catch up on each other’s lives too. You can also use this time to clear any resentment towards each other.

Once your husband starts going back to work, give him a call once or twice just to say hello. The same goes for the husbands too,check on your wife while you are away. Bring her little gifts to remind her she’s on your mind along with the baby.

There is no right time to start having sex. Usually the vagina heals itself faster and your doctor will advise you how soon you can start so that there’s little or no pain experienced. But most couples find it tough to get back into the mood especially since the baby takes time to stick to one routine.

But just because you cannot have sex doesn’t mean you have to completely refrain from each other, at least till you are ready for sex you can snuggle upto each other, hug and kiss instead.

Parenting is one of the toughest and thankless jobs in the world. There’s no handbook or instruction manual, the secret to a happy family starts from the strong bond of love and trust and understanding between the parents, this bond automatically reflects on the children too.



Meera M.Das