How To Inform Children About Adoption

How To Inform Children About AdoptionAs parents of an adopted child, you might like to totally forget the fact that the baby is not your biological kid, leave aside the prospect of discussing the truth of adoption with the baby.

After all the kid is so young and so fragile and why must then he / she deal with the situation? I mean why can’t we just let our adopted kids live the life normally, without having to ever know that they were adopted?

Why To Inform Children About Adoption

There are two schools of thought here. One group believes that children must not be told that they are adopted kids and the other school advocates open discussion, whereby the adopted child is informed all about the procedure.

A convenient option is to never bring up the subject and the more difficult path is to actually inform the child about adoption. However consider the situation where you concealed all facts related to adoption and the now grown up teenager finds legal documents of adoption in your cupboard.

What do you expect the reaction to be? Most likely there will be an outburst. The child will not only feel like a stranger in the house but will also mistrust you. The bond which you created over the years might no longer remain. Is this situation easy or perhaps taking up the matter, when the time is right, more suitable?

When To Inform Children About Adoption

Considering the pros and cons, it is advisable to inform the children about their adoption, on time.  But what is the right time? Well there are no hard and fast rules here. You can start early, when child is still in the infant years. In these early years children are more receptive and thus will be less apprehensive about the related facts.

How To Inform Children About Adoption

Start by introducing the word adoption. In simple ways, explain the difference. For example if you child asks about the hospital where you got him / her from or inquires about the way he / she behaved while in your tummy, answer honestly.

Tell the kid that you didn’t went to a hospital, but got him / her from adoption care. Inform the baby that you are not the biological mother and thus not very sure how he / she behaved, while in the womb. But of course add statements like, ‘you are such a lovely kid, that you must have behaved yourself, even in the tummy’.

With time, keep adding on to the info and tell all about adoption procedures. While discussing on the subject, make sure to tell the child how important he or she is in your life. Pay due relevance to the fact that because you needed the kid, you adopted him / her.

Children will react differently to discussion. Those who are expressive will come out with their questions, while few will need more time to accept the reality and thus talk about it. In either case, you have to deal patiently and react as per the situation. In more difficult cases, you could recite stories of adoption as penned by various authors, to help the adopted children cope with situation.

meenakshi ahuja