Once you deliver you begin going through a number of hormonal changes. Your normal lifestyle changes drastically and you are always feeding or changing and caring for the baby. All this coupled with inadequate sleep adds to your stress. The last thing on your mind would be having sex.
After the delivery your doctor will tell you to abstain from intercourse for at least six weeks which is the healing period. You will be menstruating also and will any way be unable to get into the act. A delivery involves having an episiotomy wherein the woman is given a slight cut for the baby to come out easily. This is then stitched and then needs to heal completely.
Even after six the new mother may not want to have sex. It is normal. There is a great fear of pain and usually there is a tremendous amount of tiredness. Remember to take it slow. Sex need not mean only intercourse. Do a lot of cuddling and hanging out together as a part of the sexual routine. Remember it is ok to try and not succeed the first few times. This can be a trial and error process.
A woman is relatively drier during this time due to her estrogen levels and the man needs to understand that. It is better to use lubricating creams during intercourse to reduce the pain. The man must know that a woman’s sexual needs are going to reduce considerably after her delivery and they need to accept it as a passing phase. Some women refrain from intercourse for up to three months also.
Even while having intercourse take care that the woman is very comfortable. Change the position according to the comfort of the mother. Just because the doctor has said six weeks it does not mean you can start as soon as the time is up. It is normal to try and not succeed a few times. Don’t try to hard as you may land up hurting yourself.
As penetration after delivery becomes difficult it seems as if the woman is a virgin and doing it for the first time. But don’t worry your sexual life will come back to normal in a few months.