Name-calling, shouted resorts and defiance are forms of rudeness that can appear any time after your youngster has learned to speak more or less fluently. They are particularly common to four-and six –years-olds, who are going through stressful period s of physical and mental development.
Such rudeness does not appear out of the blue; something usually happens to precipitate it. Perhaps may be you have told your child to do something he does not want to do, or he wants to do something but you have said no. Until he learns to communicate his feelings more maturely, rudeness may be his way of expressing his anger, frustration and disappointment.
Try not to rise to the bait when your child talks back. Many parents unconsciously become models of discourtesy by responding to rude children with shouts of anger. By shouting at him you are exactly teaching him how to react. However much you are provoked, ignore all but the most flagrant forms of back talk.
Tell him that you don’t listen to talk like this but keep a keen ear open for responses that are even a least bit agreeable and praise them. In the heat of the moment, be careful not to lose sight of the problem that provoked the outburst.
For example if your child shouts and tell you that he will not keep the toys in place then do not get distracted by his behavior instead you should remember about the toy. The first priority is to explain to him that it is his job to keep the toys in the right place or even time-out for not listening.
When your child calms down and seems to be ready to listen to you, talk to him pleasantly about acceptable ways to express his feelings. Explain that it is ok for him to tell you of his anger, but he should do it in a way that is not rude or harmful. It is your job as a parent to be patient, forbearing and very precise in getting the rules across to your child.