If there is one desire that virtually all mothers and fathers share, is the wish to raise a good child. But when you ask a dozen of parents to define well, you are bound to get a dozen different answers. One parent cares strongly about manners and politeness. Another will cite responsibility and obedience and third one will uphold self-control and confidence.
But in truth good behavior is all these things and more, and given the proper opportunity, your youngster will be able to make all of them part of her character. Bossiness is a natural part of growing up. Your preschooler has been on the receiving end of parental direction for three or four years and it is perfectly understandable for her to try dominating her peers.
Of course, her playmates are arriving at the same stage at the same time, and when two aggressive children confront each other, the result can be unpleasant. There is also the potential for long range trouble if your child happens to get stuck in this pattern.
Give your child a number of chances to assert herself with her playmates. She may discover on her own that continually bumping nose with others brings more problems than benefits. But if she persists in being bossy, is bossy to an exaggerated degree or has trouble making friends, it is time for you to step in and help.
At the appropriate moment you should step in and make her understand that she should play in turns. Your preschooler may need practice playing cooperatively with other children. You might invite other children over to play together while you might monitor the activity. Emphasize the benefits of cooperation, and intervene if they start to squabble. Stress how much more fun they could be having if they were sharing.
Nevertheless, being in charge and asserting oneself are perfectly healthy and legitimate needs. A good way to experience the positive feeling of being in charge now and then is through games such as statues, in which your youngster is entitled to tell others what to do, but she also knows that her moment of glory is limited.